The myth of the spoiled child : challenging the conventional wisdom about children and parenting / Alfie Kohn.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

Permissive parents, coddled kids, and other reliable bogeymen -- Parenting in perspective -- Overstating overparenting -- Getting hit on the head lessons: motivation, failure, and the outrage over participation trophies -- The underlying values: conditionality, scarcity, and deprivation -- The attack on self-esteem -- Why self-discipline is overrated: a closer look at grit, marshmallows, and control from within -- Raising rebels.

"Somehow, a set of deeply conservative assumptions about children -- what they're like and how they should be raised -- have congealed into the conventional wisdom in our society. Parents are accused of being both permissive and overprotective, unwilling to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. Young people, meanwhile, are routinely described as entitled and narcissistic. . . among other unflattering adjectives. In The Myth of the Spoiled Child, Alfie Kohn systematically debunks these beliefs -- not only challenging erroneous factual claims but also exposing the troubling ideology that underlies them. Complaints about pushover parents and coddled kids are hardly new, he shows, and there is no evidence that either phenomenon is especially widespread today -- let alone more common than in previous generations. Moreover, new research reveals that helicopter parenting is quite rare and, surprisingly, may do more good than harm when it does occur. The major threat to healthy child development, Kohn argues, is posed by parenting that is too controlling rather than too indulgent." -- Publisher's description.